Saturday, February 19, 2011

Parenting Mistakes

Eventually, we all make mistakes as parents as we try to do our best raising our children. You’ll discover everyday mistakes we ALL tend to make as parents that will ultimately affect everything our children will do for the rest of their lives!

This valuable parenting advice is gleaned from an experienced child & family therapist, covering over 100+ Parenting Mistakes and challenges.Based On A US And International Patent Pending Program, 100+ Parenting Mistakes Helps Parents Avoid And Prevent A Total Of 129 Mistakes That Will Ultimately Affect Everything Our Children Will Do For The Rest Of Their Lives!

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“To understand your parents' love, you must raise children yourself.” Chinese Proverb

Friday, February 18, 2011

Do You Agree




* Authoritative parents are demanding and responsive, controlling but not restrictive. This child-centered pattern includes high parental involvement, interest, and active participation in the child's life; open communication; trust and acceptance; encouragement of psychological autonomy; and awareness of where children are, with whom, and what they are doing.
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* Authoritarian parents are demanding, but not responsive. They show little trust toward their children, and their way of engagement is strictly adult-centered. These parents often fear losing control, and they discourage open communication.

* Permissive parents are responsive, warm, accepting, and childcentered,but non-demanding. They lack parental control.

* Neglectful parents are neither responsive nor demanding. They do not support or encourage their child's self-regulation, and they often fail to monitor or supervise the child's behavior. They are uninvolved

Chooseing Your Parenting Style

Parenting is a complex activity that includes many specific behaviors that work individually and together to influence child outcomes. Parenting is the process of raising and educating a child from birth until adulthood. Every parent has their own view on what their parental duties. Generally, the majority of parents admit that those duties are to provide for the basic needs of a child, whereas parents not only fulfill children’s basic needs but also develop their personality and mold them into unique individual which gives them identity. We have seen around so many children who are anxious, angry, aggressive, and have low self-esteem. On the other hand some children are confident calm and cool. There are identified three styles that parents used with their children: Authoritative, authoritarian, and permissive.  . Each parenting style has different level of demands and responses and the resulting child is different for each style.


Researches have shown that authoritative parents balance demandingness and responsiveness with higher competencies in children. Authoritative parent’s style is also termed democratic because though the parents set firm rules and have clear expectations, they allow discussion and promote independence in the child. Using this style parents encourage discussion and debates with their child. These parents are warm and supportive. Moreover they respond to their children’s need and wises. They believe in paternal control and they explain their children the reason for control. They also try to have their children to understand that both parents and children have rights. These parents also try to maintain a balance between individual rights and good socialization. These parents are assertive, but not intrusive and restrictive. Their disciplinary methods are supportive, rather than punitive. Moreover their children are assertive as well as socially responsible, and self regulated as well as cooperative. According to Jennifer & Horbury (2001) “The children of authoritative parent’s process greater competence in early peer relationship, engage in low level of drug use as adolescent, and have more emotional well being as young adult”. If we look around the children of authoritative parents are socially competent, stronger academic performance, high self esteem, successful, articulate, assertive, energetic, friendly and cheerful. These children are not afraid of failure and are willing to meet challenges. Theses children are liked by teachers and peers, especially in culture where individual initiative is valued. This is the most recommended style of parenting by child-rearing experts.


Authoritarian parenting is highly demanding but is not responsive. Expression of love or affection is limited or even absent. People who believe in aauthoritarian parenting are usually very conscious about status and particular about discipline. They expect their order to be obeyed without any explanation being given. Moreover they do not give to their children the opportunity to learn from their errors. Their homes are always maintained in highly orderly manners and everything has to function with clockwork precision according to their rules. They also expect their children to accept their values, decisions, judgments and goals entirely and unquestioningly. They set absolute standards for shaping, evaluating and controlling the behaviors and attitudes of their adolescent children. Their children have no privacy or say in any matter. The parent tends to be highly intrusive and autocratic. They use weapons like withdrawal of love, shaming, and making the child feel guilty, to get their child to behave appropriately and obey parental rules. Children may perform reasonably well at school and may not display any behavioral problems as a result of authoritarian parenting. However, they often suffer from low self-esteem, high levels of depression and have poor social skills. They have never been engaged in verbal discussions or exchanges at home and consequently tend to be awkward and nervous conversationalists. Children and adolescents from authoritarian families tend to perform moderately well in school and be uninvolved in problem behavior, but they have poorer social skills, lower self-esteem, and higher levels of depression.


On the other hand permissive parents display high level of warmth and low level of control in interaction with their children. These parents behave in no punitive, and affirmative manner to wards their children, desire and actions. In addition permissive parents have trouble saying no and setting boundaries and guidelines for their children. They tend to be lenient and avoid asserting authority, imposing control, restrictions or indeed any conformation whenever possible. Children of such parents are cheerful than authoritative parents, however they also tend to be more immature, impulsive and aggressive. Moreover they are poor in schooling, have low self esteem and self reliance, are anxious, immature, lack responsibility and lack self control. These children are bored and lack drive. Children with permissive parent may lack the direction and guidance necessary to develop appropriate oral and goals. Moreover they also show no or little initiative and spontaneity since they expect everything brought to them for their pleasure. They are self-centre and have no sense of boundaries. Adolescent of permissive parents learn that there are few boundaries and rules and that consequences are not likely to be very serious. As a result teens may have difficulty with self control and demonstrate egocentric tendencies that can interfere with proper development of peer relationship. The adolescents are more prone to engage in misconduct and drug use. When they are in trouble they simply blame others even it’s their fault.


Parenting is probably the most important public health issue facing in our society. I would say that children imitate and learn much more from their parents than most parents realize. Even the slightest behavioral misconduct is picked up by children and acted out in their own lives. Therefore, for parents should choose a parenting style that best fits how they would like their child to behave now and later when they become an adult. Parents should try and achieve a balance between having high expectations and displaying genuine affection. Only then will children be motivated from within to succeed.

Being a new parent

Being a first time parent is hard enough. With postnatal preparations, you also have to prepare for the arrival of your baby.

The process of being a new parent.

If you want to become the parent that you desired to be, you should investigate further.

Here are the processes that you should know to become skilled in parenting.

- To find out answers to solving your parenting issues, you can talk to another parent whom has actually gone through that same situation with their before. There are parenting forums that are available online nowadays and some are equipped with online chat options. There are many websites about parenting and you can find nearly all solution to every type of situation out there. Try to look at how other parents have ended their issues and what their solution was and try to see if that may actually work for you.

Parenting is a never-ending job.

Most parents want nothing but the best for their children. Parenting is the hardest job and that applies to whether you are a first time parent or whether you already have several kids. For a parent, their children are the ones who bring delightful joy in their lives, and though sometimes it is unavoidable that they too can bring tragic sorrows. Children now, regardless of their age needs help and proper guidance from you their parents. Parenting never stops, whether you realized it or not.

Teach your kids self-reliance

If you suddenly noticed that you constantly give in to your child's whims, take a pause and ask yourself what made you do such a thing. As a result of your child feeling self-sufficient, they will feel confident enough to rise above any situation. As young as two years old, a child can start learning to do easy chores. Most of the time, it is out of you own desire for materialistic pressures, or to be liked and sometimes fervently wish that your child may be spared of the things that you did not experience as a child and as an action you would want to do your best to give them nothing but the best of everything.

Get more compliance from your child.

Brainstorming with your child as opposed to focusing on what reward/s will be given after they have accomplished a task will prove that you will be rewarded with cooperation from your child. Start to establish house rules - For instance, if your house rule is that bedtime should be at 8 pm, simply state the rule. To be able to get to the next place with your child, make it fun - If your child is the type that has troubles with changes and becomes oppositional, you can ask him/her to hop like a kangaroo to the door, or even have their favorite thing waiting in the car for them thus providing cooperation from you child.

Common child and parent problems.

All of us went through that stage where we all wanted to be just like all the other famous kids. Parents have the choice and the chance to curve your life's path towards being a good parent. Parenting may be hard for some, while it can be easy for others. There, now you can say that being a parent is incomparable.

Make memories with quality family time.

First, parents should try to rearrange their schedules in order the entire family to sit down for meals even if it's just for one meal out of the week.

The following tips ensure that your family time will be stress free and will ensure that you will make your family memories last for a lifetime:

- Parents have to first establish some positive uplifting points, authoritative parenting styles or topics for dinner table conversations. Avoid criticisms, arguing or squabbling during family dinners.
- Parents should turn off the television during dinner time so that you can focus on family conversations. During dinner, there should not be anyone talking on the cell phone or playing electronic game (except for emergencies).

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Three Main Styles


There are three main recognized parenting styles, the first is authoritarian parenting (also known as strict parenting), second is authoritative parenting (also known as balanced or democratic), and the third is permissive parenting (also known as indulgent parenting). These styles were originally outlined by a psychologist called Diana Baumrind in 1966 and are still referred to today.

How do you set boundaries for your child? This can tell you a lot about your parenting style. Rules that are imposed and non-negotiable are in the authoritarian parenting style. If you give your child boundaries and rules that are then open to negotiation and reason, then this falls into the authoritative parenting category. If your style is permissive parenting, then you are not likely to set specific boundaries for your child, but rather you would let your child regulate his or her own activities and allow them to find things out in their own way. For example if a child is home past their curfew, an authoritarian parent will punish them, an authoritative parent would talk to them, find out why, and possibly ground them, and a permissive parent would be likely to let the child learn from his or her mistake when they are tired the next day.

The method with which you punish your child also gives a clue as to your preferred parenting style. If you are more likely to punish a child with a smack than the ‘naughty step' then that shows an authoritarian parenting style. This style is associated with punishment and control. If your techniques are authoritative techniques, then punishments are consistent and appropriate to the offence. Techniques like grounding, removal of items from the child, a quiet naughty chair etc are typical of authoritative parenting. Punishments are explained and behaviour is discussed. If you follow the permissive parenting style, then punishments are far less likely, far less severe and often favour the child.

How do you respond to your children? If you listen to them and are encouraging when they do something good, or when they try and fail, then you are following an authoritative parenting pattern. Parents who tend to have authoritarian parenting techniques are often dismissive and negative, and those who follow permissive parenting patterns often tell their children that whatever they do is their responsibility, and that they are individuals.

It is generally agreed that authoritative parenting is best for children, but in reality most parents use a mix of authoritative, authoritarian and permissive parenting and there is nothing wrong with that. Whichever style of parent you are, a combination of techniques is often the best way.